Thomas Sainsbury’s Christmas Monologues put a deliciously dark twist on the festive season. Known for his sharp wit and biting humour, Sainsbury takes the traditional cheer of Christmas and flips it on its head with tales that are macabre, satirical, and wickedly funny. Each monologue explores the less polished side of the holidays, fractured families, awkward encounters, secret desires, and the chaos that simmers beneath the tinsel and fairy lights.
These pieces are bold, edgy, and unapologetically untraditional, offering performers a chance to dive into quirky, flawed characters and audiences a night of festive theatre with a darkly comic edge. Perfect for those who enjoy their Christmas entertainment with a little bite, the Christmas Monologues promise laughter, shock, and recognition in equal measure.
Dates: 4th, 5th, 6th December 2025
Venue: Relishes Cafe
Tickets: R18 – some content may offend.
Make a night out of it: food and drinks available before and during the show. Doors will open at 6:30pm and the show will begin 7:30pm
Pre-sale tickets 1st November
General Sale 4th November
Sponsors
Featuring 7 talented local performers, this show promises a night of outrageous humour and festive mayhem.
Margot: (Katy Rowden)
Margot has spent years making life look effortless – but underneath the shine, something is starting to shift.
Robbie: (Robert Holt)
Turkey farmer Rob’s having a rough season. Let’s just say… it’s not stuffing he’s worried about.
Penny: (Bridget Brady)
She’s 12. She’s clever. She’s neurodivergent.
And she’s got some… thoughts about Christmas.
Becky: (Anne Timpany)
Becky’s an elf. Santa’s… special elf.
And she’s got stories the North Pole HR department should probably hear.
Leigh: (Nat Simmonds)
Leigh decorates Christmas trees for a living.
This year, her client is her ex-husband’s new wife.
Nothing could possibly go wrong… right?
Ruth: (Becca Thompson)
Once addicted to drugs. Now addicted to Jesus.
Ruth’s Christmas miracle may not be quite what you expect.
Juanita: (Natasha Kay Senior)
Working Christmas Day in a rest home isn’t glamorous.
But Juanita’s shift might be the most unforgettable one yet.
Production Manager Sarah Hambrook
Director Andrea Beryl
